Happy pizza

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A few years ago I took a long awaited trip to Cambodia , a country torn and hurt by war and its evil former leader Pol Pot. I wanted to see for myself how the people were recovering from these terrible events.I arrived in the capitol Phnom Penh and found a suitable guest house for my stay and then headed out into the streets with my moto bike driver to experience Cambodian culture!

But first I need to satisfiy a craving for western food , specifically pizza! I told my moto bike driver what I wanted and he took me to a place called Happy Pizza. After I sat down a pretty waitress came over to take my order. "A large ham and pineapple pizza please" I stated and she replied "Yes mister, you like extra spice with that?". Extra spice? I concluded that with her imperfect command of english she probably had meant extra sauce or some such so I said "Sure, extra spice, ok".

The pizza soon arrived and it was delicious and as I ate, an American beside me struck up a rather one sided conversation. He went on about his work for a "nongovermental organization" and his life in Cambodia . After about 15 minutes He suddenly paused and said "You know they put marijuana in the pizza here don't you?". Ah hah 'special spice 'indeed! I was feeling pretty dizzy by this time so I paid my bill, said goodbye to the helpful American and told my driver to take me back to the guest house where I thought it would be safe to wait for the effects of the 'herb' to wear off. Unfortunatly two hours later I remembered that I had to pick up my visa at the travel agency by 7:00 pm that evening and my regular moto driver was nowhere to be found. Against my better judgement I tottered into the night to find another driver and soon I was on the back of a moto heading somewhere other than where I wanted to go. After 10 min I stopped the driver and showed him on a map where I wanted to go, he nodded and off we went again through the dark streets, later I realized that he could not read a map. I decided that I would need another driver so we stopped and I told my driver that I would find someone else. He was unimpressed with this and demanded payment for his time, this made me furious and I refused to pay him for wasting mine! Suddenly my senses tingled and I realized that I was in a dark alley and my angry driver appeared to have two angry friends with him! One of the men went to grab me but I pushed him away, in moments I might be beaten and robbed! I was very frightened so I decided to do what I learned in high school when facing danger....BLUFF! Showing anger and gestulating wildly I advanced on my assailants which made them hesitate long enough for me to start backing out of the alley onto the main street where a taxi happened to be driving by, which I quickly jumped into and thus made my escape!

There are two things to be learned here: 1) Marijuana pizza can dangerously alter your judgement! and 2) You never get the munchys after eating happy pizza!

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Published on 3/12/05